Are you: Active listener or passive speaker

Oleh Ahmad,

26 September 2008

Communication is what we faced everyday in our life. Even right after we are born, we cry as to tell the doctors that we lived!

Communication does not always have to involved verbally, but also body language and habit. That's right, habit is how we communicate unintentionally, showing our true colors behind our verbal communication.

Firdaus: Nervousness is normal, the one who's not nervous is weird

The purpose of this post is to ponder upon communication goal (don't worry just a short one), its barrier and how to practically improving it!

I know. You know. We all Knows! However I am still going to highlight the common goal of communication so that we don't get off track somewhere. Basically we communicate because we want to persuade others, to give information, to get action done, to give understanding and to change behavior. (see, I told you its going to be short!)

Bakri: Confidence come through experience

Next, we will look at the barrier in communication. A barrier for communication can happen both to speaker and listener. As for speaker, it involve:

1. Use of language
2. Use of semantic
3. The difference of culture
4. Feeling insecurity - tend to hold something like pen, chair in front

Is your audience listening or playing with their phone?

On the other hand, listeners barrier is slightly different from the speaker in term of:

1. Over generalization (early perception)
2. Not actively listening
3. Speed of thought (think faster than what is being said)
4. Personal interest



When someones actually listen!, we know that they listen by:

1. paraphrasing (saying back what we just said but using his/her own word)
2. Summarizing what we just said
3. Asking back question - a. Closed question such as who, when and which
                                             b. Open question like how and what (preferable)

When someone listen, they will ask back question

At the same time, there are actually clues when listeners are not actually listening:

1. They tend to wait for their turn to talk
2. Thinking about what to reply before the person finish talking
3. I know, you are that person! In fact, we all have been in this position before, but do we really want to stay this way? Certainly not!



So here are a few action plan for you to consider. First, we will go through the action plan for a speaker:

1. Sharp focus by practicing
2. Logical thinking by practicing
3. Clear phrasing by practicing
4. Crisp delivery by practicing
5. Position and posturing by practicing
6. Make eye contact by practicing
7. Expression and gestures by practicing



Now, action plan for a listener:

1. Concentrate and hear the person by suspending your judgement
2. Curiosity or open mind (do not react to emotional sentence) by suspending your judgement
3. Analysis (understanding) by suspending your judgement

Your expression & gestures is visible by all except yourself

At the end of the day, a speaker needs to practice and a listener needs to hold back their judgement. Then, everyone will be happy! Remember knowing is not enough, we must apply!, willing is not enough, me must do! From my behalf, I would like to wish all my readers 'Selamat Hari Raya, maaf zahir dan batin'. Your are all invited to my house this coming raya, oh and please call me first before you do come. By the way, my source for this post is our UTP councellor and my own experience.